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5 ways to keep a friendship alive.

three women walking at shore

Your oldest friends are almost like a scrapbook of your life, they knew the person you were as well as the person you have become, and can pick up nuances without you having to make lengthy explanations. When life changes and you both have to actively maintain and look after a friendship..

COMMIT Make time to pick up the phone, email or text to keep up with each other’s lives. The precise frequency of contact varies from friendship to friendship, maybe you need to discuss this and re-negotiate it over time. It’s important that you recognise milestones such as birthdays, anniversaries or promotions, and show support through difficult times such as a loss or divorce.

PERSONALISE Social media is great for keeping in touch, but find new, more personal ways of communicating. An old-fashioned letter or a photograph of you both from your teenage years will go a long way to make your friend feel special. Talk about the ways that work best for you both. For example, it may be that one of you hates Facebook or feels uncomfortable receiving messages at work.

CREATE NEW MEMORIES When it comes to properly maintaining friendships, old memories won’t suffice, friends need to create rituals to build new memories together. You can try visiting the same restaurant or café whenever you see one another, or perhaps invest in a weekend away.

FOCUS IN Show that you’re interested in your friend’s life by asking about her kids’ school, her social life and even what she had for lunch! The intimate details often count for more than the bigger picture.

BE HONEST Acknowledge that you spend less time together, or that there’s a void, or that your relationship has changed and help each other adjust.


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