Unforeseen events are a part of life. It’s hard to come to terms with the fact you cannot control much that happens in life, no matter how much you try. Some people have an easy time dealing with them, while others have a tough time with them, and then there are others who fall in between, who are trying to make it easier for themselves to handle the unexpected. I have always tried to do the latter but it’s still doesn’t totally take away the hurt when things don’t work out.
The primary challenge with anything unexpected is precisely that, the unforeseeable part. Even if you remove expectations from your mindset, the number of different scenarios that can play out in a specific situation or in dealing with a person or situation are endless. It isn’t that we can’t predict or read situations or people, but what can happen in life, the circumstances that can take place, are limitless.
The component that causes a reaction in these unforeseen situations is surprise.
No matter how well you try to prepare for what life throws your way, a curve ball will always come your way, and that initial reaction can include perplexity, anger, disappointment, sadness, and other similar emotions to a surprise or startled body-mind reaction. Whether the emotion is nice or not so nice depends on the situation and on us as individuals.
Personally, I found it’s so important to embrace your feelings and emotions, give yourself time and space and if possible try and draw a line under it as soon as you feel ready to move on. I found that it was also helpful to ponder why I’m reacting in a certain way to the situation/event. What is the problem? What am I holding on to and/or what am I judging, and how can I make what just happened ok? I’ve also looked at how I can grow from the situation, persevere on my chosen path or embrace a new one.
At first this was not something easy at all. It was very hard not to be angry and point the finger at someone or something, I wanted to project my feelings onto someone to make me feel better, I wanted answers and closure. All of these things were just so exhausting and had a real negative impact on me, the only way to move on was to accept them.
Once I felt calm, I looked for the lesson I could learn, for what I could take away to grow internally and to change my feelings with these types of situations, it got easier and easier to reduce the time of the “negative” reaction and instead put myself in a position where I immediately look for my growth opportunity in the challenge I’m being faced with through what just happened.
Hopefully sharing this exercise can help you through your unexpected events; but also…
I would love to hear about how you react to disruption, the unexpected? Also, what do you do when disruption happens?