Last week, I experienced an interesting situation, that challenged me to stay true to my vision and values. Long story short, I had a opportunity to work with someone and update their website and run their social media, but something about it just felt off. I wrestled with it for a few days, but ultimately decided to turn it down – my gut was giving me warning signs and I decided to listen.
How can you tell the difference between your ego and your true self?
How are you supposed to know when it’s your gut giving “off” signals, versus fear of change or the unknown? And once you figure that out, how do you identify why you’re feeling those bad vibes? These are both questions I explored while making my decision. It wasn’t easy and, honestly, it was really confusing – which is why I want to share this process. In the end, I realised the reason I felt like something was “off” was because when I mapped it all out, it clashed with my long-term vision and values.
Think about (or create) your vision.
What’s your vision for your lifestyle, career and relationships? If you are unsure of the answer, try working backwards. Start by identifying how you want to feel – so often, we make decisions based on how we want our lives to look. The problem with this is your life can look great on paper or on Instagram, but if you aren’t happy with what it feels like, you aren’t going to be happy.
Connect with your emotions and get real with yourself about the feelings you want to create and what actions would support those feelings coming to life. By getting clear on the feelings you want to create, you can make decisions aligned with those feelings.
Identifying your values.
Have you ever written out your values? Your values are the things that you believe are important in the way you live and work. For example you might value honesty, empathy and loyalty or compassion, generosity and vision.
Once you know your values you can prioritise 3-5 of them. You can always choose to pivot in another direction if you feel differently about a situation further on down the line.
Visualise the outcome
Visualisation is SO powerful. It allows us to feel the feelings of what we want before we are actually living it. You will find it easier to follow through on actions that will align us with our visions. Try and visualise as much detail as you possibly can – from what your day-to-day would look like, how you would interact with the people involved, what you would wear, your environment, etc.
Asking yourself the hard questions
We often make decisions rooted in fear. You fear that if you turn something down you will never get that chance again. You feel like you “should” do something because of the money, material possessions, status… You feel like you may experience shame or rejection if you turn it down. You might be afraid of making the wrong decision that will in turn, have a negative ripple effect on the rest of your life. Now is the time to ask yourself the hard questions and identify if a fear-based mindset is impacting your decision making process. Here are a few to get you started: What is the “why” behind my decision? Is fear motivating me in a positive or negative way in this situation? How would this situation play out if I were to lean into the fear as part of my decision? At the end of the day, you can seek advice on your decision from other people, Google searches, books and more – but no one can make your choice that is inline with your vision for you – it’s your vision, after all! I hope the next time you face a big decision, these steps help you realign with your true values and vision and make a choice that feels right to you.